what's your damage?

jellyfish-rights:

zerofarad:

afabbaeddel:

lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own

“God may judge you but his sins outnumber your own.” We really need to start collecting and sourcing these Potent Quotables.

I’ve been doing this for years

It’s all on a google doc of mine (x)

nsynclancefan:

My spirit animal

I just want to smoke a fucking joint. Why do I have to be in a place where that is wildly horrifficly illegal?

antifamutantdown:

baker-p-i:

pseudo-seraphim:

somewhere-inthe-deepdetails:

nikadd:

a-them-fatale:

laughconfetti:

proto-homo:

xelamanrique318:

SNL - Cut for Time: My Little Step Children

WHY WOULD THEY CUT THIS?????

This is legiterally the funniest thing snl has done in decades

they cut it because of the ONE gay reference

Same energy

both of these sketches were written by julio torres - here’s his twitter

Omg 😂

I just want you all to know that my dramatic 6 year old ass would have loved all of this shit.

I’m the dramatique™ hand to face moment in the broken mirror.

“I WON, I HAVE YOUR DADDY WRAPPED AROUND MY FINGER.”

(Source: youtube.com)

antifamutantdown:

baker-p-i:

pseudo-seraphim:

somewhere-inthe-deepdetails:

nikadd:

a-them-fatale:

laughconfetti:

proto-homo:

xelamanrique318:

SNL - Cut for Time: My Little Step Children

WHY WOULD THEY CUT THIS?????

This is legiterally the funniest thing snl has done in decades

they cut it because of the ONE gay reference

Same energy

both of these sketches were written by julio torres - here’s his twitter

Omg 😂

I just want you all to know that my dramatic 6 year old ass would have loved all of this shit.

I’m the dramatique™ hand to face moment in the broken mirror.

“I WON, I HAVE YOUR DADDY WRAPPED AROUND MY FINGER.”

(Source: youtube.com)

honestlynatalie:

geographykhaleesi:

glumshoe:

My grandmother is a bitter old crab with nothing good to say about anything, but she does have a few good stories. She confronted the woman my grandfather had been cheating on her with - this other woman had no idea he was married, and was righteously angry.

The two of them schemed together. My grandfather’s mistress drove her convertible to the construction site where he was working. As he approached the car, she said, “Why didn’t you tell me you were married?”

“Married?! I’m not married!” he said.

My grandmother sat up in the back seat, where she’d been lying down, and said, “You won’t be for much longer.”

HOLY SHIT

This is a Country song.

ima-giant-turtle:

protons……….. neutrons…………… croutons………

halfprincesshalfgoddess:

You: Weird flex but ok

Me, an intellectual:

hamburgertrousers:

depressedphoenix:

oh?

Oh??

OH??

OH???

ROCKS ROCKS ROCKS RCOK COS ROCKS OTSOCK TOCKS

you’re so fucking lucky, i keep getting ads about dental implants

lieutenant-sapphic:

shakespeare is not pretentious. fans of shakespeare are pretentious. shakespeare is twelve hundred dirty jokes strung together by increasingly ridiculous plotlines and increasingly homosexual characters. don’t let the archaic language fool you

chelseperetti:

my last 2 brain cells

olliekirkland:

you are the dancing queen

marsincharge:

achiillles:

thatonezombiecosplayer:

Me: *at the grocery store, heading through the bakery toward the donuts because I really shouldn’t but damn it I’m an adult and I want a goddamn donut*

Cake department:

Originally posted by fandomnationwhore

@marsincharge

The unexpected laughter that just ripped through my body made me pull a muscle sfojdfkddk

istillliveinnarnia:

hufflepuff-jedi:

kaible:

jordisstigander:

tcfkag:

4setsofcorsets:

bluepaladinredlion:

lazytechsupport:

katobleps:

lesbianrey:

hi i’m tolkien here are my ocs. i call them Elves (not elfs!!! if you call them elfs i will block you) they look like humans but they’re tall, live forever, and have pointy ears. that’s it bye

cs lewis: are you alright with constructive criticism? i dont want to sound mean

tolkien: no go ahead i want to hear it

cs lewis: they fucking suck

tolkien: thats not constructive criticism

cs lewis: here’s my OC, it’s jesus but he’s a lion
tolkien: Furry
cs lewis: blocked

Tolkien: lamp posts don’t exist in fantasy worlds
Cs Lewis: ok you know what fuck you

CS Lewis: I could beta for you if you want. help you trim the fat on your stories

Tolkien: what do you mean

CS Lewis: I just. you describe a lot of trees.  are trees that important

Tolkien: just you fucking wait. trees are SO important.

~and that day, Tolkien invented ents~

@urulokid

CS Lewis: Not more trees.

Tolkien: This one’s based on you.

casual reminder that Lewis and Tolkein almost completely ended their friendship over Lewis having Santa make an appearance in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe because Tolkein hated it so fucking much.

CS Lewis: bitch

Tolkien: blocked

CS Lewis: wait unblock me i need to tell you something

Tolkien: unblocked

CS Lewis: bitch

A day will come when I do not Reblog this friendship.

This is not that day.

dmofstormandsea:

thorthedorkworld:

I’m screaming why does Mamma Mia fit every fight scene so perfectly ajkaslajjddhhajadkjfh

this video is what dnd feels like